Ann Kagarise Photography

Ann Kagarise Photography
Ann Kagarise Photography

Friday, October 9, 2009

A tear

About 30 minutes ago, I found out the unthinkable. What do you do with information like that. I have no idea. I always keep my blog for professional reasons. I really never write personal things. Sometimes, I just feel the need to. I'm like in shock really. In August, I found my sister on facebook. I was pumped!! About an hour after we spoke, I found out my brother Chuck had passed away 4 years ago and my father wasnt my father probably. At least the one I had thought was all these years. David. I just found out that I am a product of a rape and that my mom has not wanted me because I am a reminder. Wow. What do you do with that? I have no reaction. I have never had a tear come to my eyes at the same time I find something out. Never. I never cry. But a tear instantly came in my eyes. I never in a million years thought I was a product of rape and my mom sees me as a bad reminder. It is what it is. But wow...I have to process this. Ironically, I am writing a book. A fiction young adult book. In the book I talk about what if...what if someone is a product of rape...not even knowing this information. A tear...that is all I have. A tear. One day the tears will flow. One day I will cry.
My sister describes herself and her personality and it is exactly like mine. Wow. That is actually nice to know that I am like someone. We look alike and act alike. I'm not sure if that is good or not...lol. But in all of this, I have to be thankful.

Amazing what these guys did for cancer!! They rode with Lance Armstrong 180 miles.

http://www.thesuburbanite.com/communities/x366046281/Pelotonia-riding-for-a-cancer-cure

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Becoming a butterfly


There is nothing about a caterpillar that shows us that it is going to be a butterfly.

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."